For our August 2020 show, one of our songwriters wrote an impressive essay that summed up my experience of writing a song inspired by Octavia E. Butler’s book Kindred. All of our performers were white for this show and the book was an incredible sci-fi journey of a modern day African American woman traveling back in time to a slave owning southern plantation.
Essay by Rupert Angele Eyes
I read “Kindred” fast and hard, glued to the book, over the span of about two days. I felt hungover, sad, and lonesome. I felt heavy. Reading through Octavia E. Butler’s strong, visceral, imagery was horrifying. Images of slavery, of physical violence, sexual violence, emotional manipulation — some parts of the book were so painful that it hurts too much for me to utter certain instances out loud. And yet, Dana, the protagonist, patiently and methodically held my hand through it all
That catharsis was delicious and satisfying, especially because I rarely complete a book. But after that feeling of completion, I had to think about planning for this book club. As a songwriter, I had to ask myself, “How can I write a song about this book?” I was confronted with one enormous dilemma. It was the decision of finding my voice and perspective.
I am a white male, and this book is written by a black female author. If I write the lyrics from Dana’s perspective, am I appropriating her voice? Am I covering up her identity as a woman and as a person of color? I don’t wanna do that… But, on the other hand, as a songwriter finding my voice, do I try to identify with the people who look like me in the novel? The gross, abusive, racist, white male characters? Even Kevin, Dana’s white husband, has all sorts of problems — especially as his perspective shifts over the course of the novel, when he’s stuck back in time for about five years.
So then do I write from that perspective? That feels terrible too.
Trying to find my voice felt like I was tap dancing on the edge of a razor blade. I am either appropriating someone’s narrative, or I am identifying with all of the villainous figures.
But I had to write a song for this book club, I had to meet a deadline, and I was forced to make creative decisions. Ultimately, I decided that, yes, I am going to write the song from the perspective of Dana, problematic as that may be. So for reference, when I am singing my song, I am acting as if I am Dana, and I am talking to Rufus.
I also had to figure out how to insert myself into the narrative. As someone who is a much better songwriter than me taught me, a successful song needs some type of seed of personal truth and empathy for it to feel authentic and relatable to an audience.
So, in order to relate the book to myself, and seek empathy, I decided to focus on the toxic, problematic, horrific, relationship between Dana and Rufus. It felt like they were both fearful of each other, threatening each other, hating each other, but also loving and depending on each other. To quote a reader’s guide at the end of my copy of the book, by Robert Crossley, I wanted to write about how Butler “explores webs of power and affection in human relationships, of ethical imperative and the emotional price of empathy, of the difficult struggle to move beyond alienation to connection.”
Stylistically, I chose to make my composition feel scary, frustrated, and angry, because I wanted to mimic the emotional themes of the book. Again, not necessarily inserting my commentary.
And finally on a side note, I don’t know if this is a good idea composition-wise, but also trying to reflect the narrative instead of inserting myself, my song ends with me reading a passage from the book. It’s towards the end, when Dana finally attempts to run away. I think I just really love Scott walker and Serge Gainsbourg, and I wanted to explore using string arrangements accompanied with low voice talking.
LIVE STREAM FROM AUGUST 30th, 2020
1:50 Elena Degl’Innocenti
7:23: Leslie Yeseta
12:02: Justine Kragen
17:16: Jessie Kilguss
21:12: Stacy Rock
29:19: Rupert Angeleyes
43:15: Megan Cooper
50:00: Gunnar Larsson
